The Iron Bowl and Gay Marriage. (Yes, you read that correctly)

Exposition: Those of you who I've kept up with know that due to extenuating circumstances, I've become pretty devout in my fandom of Alabama Crimson Tide football. Alabama is a very good football team (especially lately), and has an in-state rival, Auburn, who has also been relatively successful lately (probably by cheating but whatever I ain't bitter or nothing.) The two schools are bitter, bitter rivals. End exposition.

There are two types of Alabama fans: those who want to see Auburn lose at everything they do, and a smaller, quieter minority who, for various reasons, want to see Auburn win except when they play Alabama. They might have attended both schools, have family at Auburn, think that Auburn being strong helps Alabama in strength-of-schedule debates, or just root for the team from their state. Whatever their reason, they are a minority, but they do exist.  Now, let's imagine a plausible scenario. The Alabama fans who despise everything about Auburn begin to coalesce around that hatred. They are the majority of Alabama fans, after all, and they are very vocal about their hatred*. Over time, everyone who is not an Alabama fan assumes that they all feel very strongly about their hatred of Auburn, and it becomes the norm.

So far, we're ok. This is how stereotypes form, sure, but unless they are abused, stereotypes can be a helpful thing. All this means is if you go into a bar full of Tide fans and Auburn is playing Virginia, you probably shouldn't be surprised if rooting for Auburn is unpopular.

The problem starts when Alabama fans themselves start to believe that all Alabama fans hate Auburn, or worse, should hate Auburn. Hatred of Auburn becomes a rallying point; and the majority will say that if you root for Auburn in any way, you are not a true Alabama fan. Your identity shifts from being about what you are for, to what you are against, and it becomes a shibboleth to test your loyalty to the cause. Of course, hating Auburn is not what defines an Alabama fan, rooting for Alabama does.

Now we get to where the real crisis lies, and I get to my broader point. At some point in this hypothetical world, hating Auburn becomes more important than loving Alabama. People stop watching Alabama games to see them win, and start watching Auburn games hoping that they'll lose. Merchandise pops up that doesn't mention the Crimson Tide anywhere, but instead talks shit about the Tigers. Bryant Denny Stadium starts ending up half full** because Alabama fans are choosing to spend their money and their time to drive across state Saturday morning to root against their rival. Ultimately, it begins to hurt the team and the brand, as the media focuses only on their hatred and not the love of the Tide. People assume that every Alabama fan is crazy, driven only by what they are against.

In this metaphor, Christians who oppose gay marriage are those fans who hate Auburn, and Christians who support it are those who root for them on occasion. We have crossed the crisis point, as a whole, in mainstream Christianity. Opposing gay marriage (which of course is only loosely referred to in the Bible) becomes not an aspect of some Christian's faith, but the rallying cry, the test of a true Christian. Just like rooting for Alabama ceases to be enough to be a fan, believing in the death and resurrection of Christ ceases to be enough to be Christian. Worse than that though, the time, effort, and money that should be put into carrying out Christian commandments (there are two- love God and love people) is instead put into what we oppose. As a whole***, mainstream Christianity has given up on the poor, the downtrodden, the hungry, and the sick, and taken up the cause of outrage and sanctimony. Jesus mentions hell only once in the Gospels, and when he does so, he says nothing about homosexuality. What his opinion on it was/is is interesting theological mumbo-jumbo, but what he does say matters is not. Feed the hungry; heal the sick; clothe the naked. And if you don't do that, then you're smacking Jesus in the face. The ultimate problem with hating Auburn this much is not the hatred in and of itself; it's the flat-out ignoring Alabama to do it.

*I know many Christians might take offense at their position being stated as "hatred." Euphemize it any way you want, I stand by the word choice.
**No this would never happen. Humor me.
***There are individuals who oppose gay marriage but have their priorities straight. Mainstream Christianity as a whole does not.

Final note: In this metaphor Harvey Updyke is Fred Phelps and you know that's a spot on comparison.